When Sun Signs Attack

Or
Hope for the Astrologically Lovelorn

Lillian Owl

Love...it's on the earth and in the stars...but how do we know who to look for, for that forever-love...and whom to avoid, for that forever-disaster?

If you are truly stumped about why you are supposed to be compatible to another person, according to your sun sign, but you are really not, you must look deeper into your horoscope chart.

Don't be afraid! I am not going to feed you a lot of astrological terminology or force you to do any math. I am not a professional astrologer, mostly because I am an idiot at math, but I have learned how to get around that by letting someone else [namely, a computer] do all the math for me. I would like to share what I know about compatibility in love relationships.

First of all, your sun sign, the horoscope you can find in the newspaper, isn't the whole story. In fact, in the olden days, it was insignificant what day you were born and what zodiac sign the sun was shining through. What was important to earlier astronomers was the zodiac sign that was peeking over the horizon at the moment of your birth, called your Ascendant, or rising sign. Long ago, that, and only that, was considered to be your "sign."

Nowadays, we take not only your rising sign into account, but also the sun sign and planets.

The reason why you cannot trust your newspaper horoscope, or any other horoscope that only talks about your sun sign, is because your rising sign is an influence that overshadows your sun sign. For instance, if you born under the sun sign Leo, but the sign on the horizon at your moment of birth was Scorpio, you would tend to act and look more like a Scorpio than like a Leo. You might still have a certain flamboyance and commanding personality, but it will be overshadowed by Scorpio's need for hidden knowledge, spirituality, and sensuality. In order to discover who you really are, astrologically speaking, you really need to find out what the positions of all the planets were at the time of your birth.

The good news is that you can get this information from the Internet. And you can also get it from certain websites for free!

Your rising sign needs to be taken into account when you try to determine who will make a good match for you, romantically. You also need to know this information about your potential mate.

Other things you really need to know are:

1. What sign Mercury was in. You need to understand how you think as well as how the other person thinks. How are you going to communicate with this person if you can't figure out how he or she thinks?
2. Where Venus is in the chart. For women, this planet helps explain their attitudes toward themselves as romantic & sexual beings, their romantic & sexual needs, and how they will tend to express themselves in relationships. This is an indication of how they may have been influenced by their mothers. For men, Venus' influence is a little more subtle, explaining their relationship to their mothers, and also what their expectations for love tend to be. Mother is the first woman any child ever sees; Venus helps explain what image of womanhood has been imprinted on the mind of the individual. It is important to know what others' expectations are in order to keep a relationship alive.
3. What Mars is doing in the chart. For men, Mars defines their attitudes toward themselves as romantic & sexual beings, their needs, and their expression of their love / sexual needs. It also explains stuff they learned or did not learn from their fathers. For women, Mars relates their relationship to their fathers, and what they expect from men, for better or worse. Father is the first man a child relates to, and Mars explains the father image imprinted on the mind of the person...and hence, what their expectations are for males' behavior.

Venus and Mars need to be compatible between two potential lovers, or the relationship will be rocky, at best. You also need to look at the relationship of planets to one another, also called the aspects. If someone has a really negative aspect which casts a shadow over their Venus or Mars, this person can have tremendous difficulties in love.

In gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender relationships, the influence is still very important, even if perhaps a little more complex. Gender identity may be a bit more fluid, and where it is, the influence of Venus may overlap that of Mars. Venus will still be the planet of love, beauty, and Mom's influence. Mars' influence also becomes broader and more subtle, but Mars is still the planet of ambition, aggression, and Dad's influence.

The factors that make for compatibility across the planets are far too complex and specific to detail in this article. Some websites provide free compatibility charts...I strongly advise potential lovers to take advantage of these...or for people who are having difficulties communicating or relating in their love matches, to get their charts done in order to figure out why this is happening.

In my match with my soul mate, we quickly discovered that I am a Gemini, on the cusp of Taurus, and he is a Pisces, on the cusp of Aries. If we looked no farther than these simple facts, we would never have gotten involved with each other, and never let ourselves discover that we are, in fact, soul mates. Pisces and Gemini are considered to be a notoriously bad match! But when I listened to my heart and discovered where we each had Venus and Mars, I began to understand some of the forces that bind us together.

My Mercury is in Taurus, which means that my thinking and planning process is very grounded. I am tremendously practical, and I like to be ready for anything. This can be a problem for spontaneous Pisces, but it turns out that his Mercury is in Aries, so we make a good team -- he has more spontaneity than I do, but I am good at making dreams come into reality. I am a stabilizing influence on him, and he is good at keeping me from getting stuck in the mud.

My Venus is in Aries, which means that I am a very, very strong woman, and I love with great force. I am more aggressive in love than a lot of women tend to be -- but shy Pisces thrives on this! He is not at all put off by my desire for him; I fulfill his need for attention and affection, and he fulfills my need to lavish such attention on my lover without restraint. His Venus is also in Aries, which means that his capacity for loving is at least as great as mine. He is more aggressive in love than many Pisceans would ordinarily be, which helps to constantly assure me that he loves and desires me.

My Mars, miraculously, is in Pisces! This means that I tend to find these dark, enigmatic men irresistible. It boded ill for my relationship with my own father...who was an Aquarian on the cusp of Pisces...and I never, ever got along with father. But I adore my sweet Pisces, more than I have ever loved any other human. Raul's Mars is also in Aries, making him very, very comfortable with his maleness, and not at all threatened by my own tendency to be androgynous.

I am not certain of Raul's rising sign, because I am not certain of his birth time, but I believe he is a Sagittarius rising. Now, I have never gotten along with Sagittarians for any great length of time, but as a Gemini, I am undeniably attracted to them as my opposites...sort of a fatal attraction. As his rising sign, Raul's roving, restless Sagittarian influence is softened by his Piscean need for an anchor to his life, something a true Sagittarian can be quite allergic to and can happily live without...so Raul gives me all of the humor, all of the sparkle, that I love in Sagittarius, but none of the casual betrayal which I have learned to hate.

Not the easiest of matches, certainly...but possible, and with a little effort, very, very solid.

It took me a long time to find him...this complex bouquet of celestial correspondences...but then again, my natal chart predicted that I would blossom and come into my own somewhat late in life. Raul was definitely worth waiting for.

So dear ones, before you set your hopes on someone, and also before you discard someone, get the whole story. Love is too important to trust to a whim...or to superficial notions from a tiny book you read at a supermarket checkout.

Love is like beauty...it is more than skin deep, and it is deeper than a superficial look at a sun sign. I wish for you all to find and to hold onto the kind of lasting love that I have found.

Many Blessings!