What Coven This?

Tune: Greensleeves.

amy & ottercat

13 Nov 1996

Please feel free to redistribute and/or perform so long as this notice remains intact and proper credit is given.

What coven this that cast a spell
On Imbolc fair and windy
Lighting a fire to welcome the God
But the spell, it went ka-blooey!

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle is cast most properly

The High Priest had browsed some books
At each in Dalton's he did look
Never reading ev'ry word
So he had no clue what to do

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle's cast most properly

He had a handsome fine strong voice
But his words were a lousy choice
For he would add things here and there
And to him they did sound most fair

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle's cast most properly

The High priestess was a beauty
Chos'n mostly for her looks you see
Coven members were glad to know
That she in circle skyclad did go

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle's cast most properly

Five times a beauty queen was she
The best ta-ta's in St. Louis
Alack, alas she could not see
And had no magic energy

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle's cast most properly

The coven members were newbies all
Just now hearing Wicca's call
The rule of three they'd heard just once
When the spell did go ka-blooey!

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle's cast most properly

The sky grew darkly ominous
A cloud did shadow over us
From in the shadow I did spy
Two angry eyes a'glowing

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle's cast most properly

A snarl quickly joined the rest
Sharp fangs and slober did depress
Soon heard was a bloodthirsty growl
What in Hades had they call-ed?

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle's cast most properly

The priestess fainted with a shriek
Who would have known she was so meek?
The shadow hasted to her feet
Upon her breast it did feast

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle's cast most properly

How do I banish this foul fiend?
The priest said many words obscene
Whilst his poor brain he did wrack
For this spellcaster was a quack

Ka-blooey went the spell
When this happens it bodes not well
Hope, Hope every one and all
The Circle's cast most properly

And what is that which doth appear
Standing by the altar near?
Do I see horns and cloven feet?
A set of pipes going tweet, tweet-tweet?

Pan, Pan, please save our boat
Members jump pleading "Holy Goat"
Help, Help for all of us
He'll save us from this beastie

A loud shrill trill Pan did blow
Upon his pipes (they're reed, you know)
Then with a a shriek it disappear'd
Of the God the beastie did learn fear

Pan, Pan, did save our boat
Members jump singing "Holy Goat"
Help, Help has come to us
He saved us from that beastie

From that day on the coven changed
No more playing of guessing games
For ev'ry spell they did study
For fear of another screwing

Thus, this is the moral dear
Lest summon any beasts to fear
Be sure you've read the book
My own sure guide to spell casting

(spoken:) Available for $19.95 at better bookstores everywhere.