Questionnaire from the Gods

Anon

The Gods would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, They ask that you take a few minutes to answer the following questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential and that you need not disclose your name or address even if you desire a direct response to your comments or suggestions, since, as you have received this, They are aware of such anyway.

1.How did you first find out about The Gods?

Newspaper _____
Divine inspiration _____
Television _____
Received this Email _____
Word of mouth _____
Other _____

2.Are you currently using any other sources of inspiration, security, or guidance in addition to The Gods? Please check all that apply.

None _____
Lottery _____
Tarot _____
Television _____
Fortune cookies _____
Advice columns _____
Horoscopes _____
Sex _____
Self-Help books _____
Alcohol _____
Biorhythms _____
Other _____
Insurance policies _____

3.The Gods generally employ a limited amount of Divine Intervention to keep a balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Would you prefer (circle one):

A.More Divine Intervention
B.Less Divine Intervention
C.Current level of Divine Intervention just right
D.Don't know

4.The Gods also attempt to maintain a fairly balanced level of disasters and miracles. Please rate on a scale of 1-5 their handling of the following:

Disaster (Flood, famine, war, Sports Upsets)

1.Dissatisfaction
2.Poor
3.Average
4.Good
5.Excellent

Miracles (Recovery from disease, Heroic Rescues, Sports Upsets)

1.Dissatisfaction
2.Poor
3.Average
4.Good
5.Excellent

5.Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of The Gods' service?

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 Bless you for completing this questionnaire.

Please email your questionnaire back to [email protected]